


Love & Lust

by ALTA16683



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-14 12:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20192419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALTA16683/pseuds/ALTA16683
Summary: My very first fic! Thought I'd dabble a little bit into the world of creative writing... hope y'all enjoy! :)





	1. Unadulterated

**Author's Note:**

> Stay tuned... a storm is coming

It was just another dingy, dark night in Walford. The cold, harsh air biting down on the crooks & crevices of Callum's toned, yet not, defined body as he embarked on a brisk walk through the ghostly streets of what was once a lively market town. All sorts of thoughts whirling and swirling inside his feeble mind. All he seemed to think about was Ben. How can one man, one being, play on one's mind constantly? Daily thoughts consumed, running through his mind at a million miles per hour. Pressure. A wedding. Whitney was fast asleep back at the flat in their shared but distantly cold bed, laying there with such innocence, a sweetness about her. He loved her, he really did. But where his heart truly belongs is a different story. Callum had to escape from his choke hold of a life that he craved but knew in his heart of hearts that it was well against his wishes. He had to find his other half. The king of his captured heart, Ben...

Callum grinded to an abrupt halt. Sign of a light. Gleaming and luminescent. The car lot... He squinted his eyes to get a clearer view, both Ben and Whitney always commenting on this specific quirk. He loved it when Ben drew attention to this, remaining bashful as his eyes sweeped & scanned the floor in timidity. Taking a few shy steps closer, he extended his hand, hesitant, but not quite resistant. His shaky, sweaty fist was met with the coolness of the steely door, akin to a solid ice cube on a warm summer's day. He pelted the door ever so slightly with barely-there knocks and in a instant, Callum was greeted with the hoarse, irritated voice of his secret lover...

"Can't you see I've shut up shop, go away!" exclaimed Ben angrily, a fire and a furore behind his voice.

"It's me, Ben. Please, I need to see ya!" retorted Callum sweetly, whimpering with tears forming in the corner of his deep blue eyes. Ben adored this about him, he would often stare into them, falling deeper & deeper in an almost hypnotic-like state.

Callum could hear footsteps edging ever closer as he wiped his face with the back of his frayed sleeve. There he stood, leaning ever so slightly on the threshold. A sight to behold, to relish in. Soak up like a sponge... 

"Ah, look who it is, the resident closet case!" Ben sniped through gritted teeth but nonetheless, he reluctantly stepped aside to allow Callum entry. He could never deny Callum, even in the midst of his clouded judgement.

As Callum took in his surroundings, Ben locked the bolted door with a heavy anger weighing on his ever so fragile heart. He was seething with bitter rage & a bubbling jealousy. The risk of getting caught always playing in the back of his mind. Callum took the initiative to strike up a conversation, deciding to pose a question to Ben.

"Do you hate me?" he said, ever so quietly almost as if he didn't want Ben to hear these four words. 

Ben huffed and took a deep breath as an immediate response to his pressing inquiry. He stood there in silence for a minute, pacing up and down. This was unlike Ben, Callum thought to himself.

Ben hastily replied with a frosty front, his ice king persona returning with a passion. Callum saw the flick switch in his glossy eyes, signalling a change. 

"Well, the man I love is getting married soon so make of that what you will, Cal!".

"Ben... I- you know-" Callum struggled to find the words to express his inner turmoil. A conflicted & strangled soul. Callum stalked ever closer towards Ben, offering his hand as a sign of peace.

Ben, calculated and clinical, coldly & spitefully turned his head away in sheer disgust. He couldn't even bear to even look his gorgeous man in the eyes.

Salty tears began to cascade down Callum's wearied & troubled visage. He quite simply couldn't register and comprehend Ben's cruelty. Finding the courage to speak up, he shouted... 

"Why can't you stand to look at me!? It's the least you can do. Just hear me out" Callum whined. 

Ben craned his neck in a flash upon hearing Callum's desperate plea. Callum could've swore it almost gave him whiplash. Angrily confronting Callum, he sarcastically screeched at the top of his lungs...

"Why should I? You're a mess! Left me in the lurch and you expect me to come running back, so of course not, Callum, I don't hate you!" 

Ben, now with tears in his eyes, violently shoves Callum to the side, discarding & disposing of him like a piece of trash.

"I'm so sorry, Ben, it was never meant to be like this...", Callum mumbled incoherently, his face expressionless, outwardly uneasy and fidgety. 

"Oh, don't give me that!... spare me the pity party!" Ben ranted flippantly, raising his hands behind his head as Callum looked on forlorn. 

"You don't get to play the wronged hero with me!" He snapped back, pointing his finger directly in Callum's emotionally distressed face.

"Love... earlier you mentioned that- word. You made it out to be just a fling, meaningless sex! 'No feelings attached', you said" Callum fired back with air quotes, coming face to face with Ben, then proceeding to stab his chest with his sturdy finger.

Ben took several steps back, scuffing his feet along the way, then fell gracefully onto the fixed sofa that stood fixed behind him. Head in his hands. Deep in thought... Looking up at Callum endearingly, puppy dog eyes in tow, he gently whispered...

"You broke my heart... you seriously believe that I can just brush that aside like it's nothing!" Ben breathed out loudly, resigning himself.

"I never knew that your heart was mine to break..." Callum responded, voice breaking, sniffing as he leaned back against the hardened desk.

Ben got up out of his seat and faced Callum head on, staring intently, a glint in his eye.

"Of course it was. You knew the score. We made a pact, came to some sort of deal, if you like..." Ben whispered delicately into Callum's ear, dramatically inhaling in the process.

Callum placed his big hand onto Ben's cheek, rubbing under his bloodshot eye with his thick thumb, such care and undivided attention going into this affectionate action. He never touched Whitney like this...

Ben fell into this heavenly embrace, lulled and beguiled by Callum's soft touch. Ben could try to do all he could to resist Callum's charms but he just couldn't find it within himself to do so. He closed his eyes softly before muttering...

"You don't have to do this, please Cal, I miss you... so much. It almost hurts..." 

Callum shushed him with a kiss, a soft and meaningful one... their tongues danced, intertwined & interspersed. Writhing hands, feeling, exploring all avenues. Ben was taken aback and Callum grew ever passionate, almost too intense.

"This is what we do. We kiss & make up..." Callum said, breaking the kiss breathlessly as he mischievously smiled.

Ben placed his flailing arms around Callum's elongated neck while Callum gripped Ben's waist in sexual frustration, pulling him closer to his stone cold, hard chest.

"Mmmm... I like it when you're all possessive. It's hot! You're like a dog on heat.." Ben let out a small laugh, waggling his eyebrows slightly, back to his usual snarky self.

"Yeah?... What can I say? I have that effect on you" Callum said rather flirtatiously, muttering between breaths.

"Oh, is that so?" Ben uttered seductively, eyes wide as he & Callum crashed to the hard, cold ground in fits of laughter...


	2. Sexy Dirty Love!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben & Callum being all soft... :) ft. some special supporting guest appearances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up!

Ben walked blissfully through the open plains of the Square, confidence and swagger galore, smirking ear to ear. Practically beaming with delight. His mind casting back to last night, the thought of Callum touching him, kissing him making him squeal internally with zest... Market stall upon market stall adorned with vibrant colours, fresh produce hanging on for dear life. Martin and Kush to one side having a cheeky little natter, probably about last night's footie game. Big Mo back to her usual tricks, selling cheap knockoffs, hollering loud and proud. Ben chuckled quietly to himself, the happiest he's ever been... Outside of Kathy's Cafe stood Ian and Max, all hot and bothered, red & riled up, having a petty squabble over who was in line before whom, sulking like petulant children, both clearly irate. Last but certainly by no means not least stood Whitney, at her brand new stall, all decked out in camo, engaging eloquently with enticed customers. Ben decided to saunter on over, to taunt her over her latest designs...

"Ah, Walford's newest entrepreneur, that's certainly an achievement, even for you!" Ben mouthed off mischievously, glaring harshly at Whitney.

"Well, well, well, Ben, we don't all get it hand to us!" snarled Whitney in defence, grinning like the Cheshire Cat, casting a nasty side eye to him as she rearranged the clothing rack.

"Oi, you betta wash out that mouth of yours!" Ben cheekily smiled, teeth poking through whilst he pointed a slightly less than threatening finger in Whitney's direction.

Ben's phone began to vibrate incessantly... He excused himself from Whitney, whispering a quick "See ya later!" before taking off in full force, rushing through the bustling market whilst looking down at his phone adoringly, in the direction of a drab alleyway. Ben knew exactly how it was. He needn't look. He didn't dare. Upon catching his breath, he leaned against the brick wall, his eyes twinkling as he gazed lovingly upon his admirer's message...

**_Come over, let's have a cuddle x_ **

Ben couldn't quite believe his eyes. Was he dreaming? After the ecstasy of last night's intimate heat, he mentally prepared himself to never catch sight of Callum ever again, the thought of this filling him with dread & despair...

Sneaking stealthily round the back of stable stalls to avoid Whitney's gaze, he meticulously maneuvered his way to the steely door of Callum's cosy flat. Taking a few deep breaths nervously, he found himself knocking frantically on said door for what seemed like an eternity, almost as if his mere life depended on it.

On the other side was Callum, writhing his sweaty hands nervously before applying cool gel into the blackthorns of his perfectly coiffed hair. Clumsily, he dropped the slimy substance in a heightened frenzy upon hearing Ben's overzealous knocking. Awkwardly, he makes his way over to his front door, tripping slightly over his own 'two left' feet. As he opened the door gleefully, he froze... met with the ying to his yang, the fire to his ice, the sun to his moon, Ben Mitchell... his heart skipping a beat as he swallowed anxiously at the sight of him, gawping, mouth open wide. Drool practically trickled down his crimped white T-shirt...

"Is there any other way to go, Daddy-O!" Ben chanted a la singsong in an adorably cheesy yet cringey voice as he leant against the threshold, hands in the pockets of his weathered leather jacket.

Callum stared at him stunned, not quite getting the reference, before bursting into uncontrollable fits of laughter. Ben observed Callum's dimples intently with starry eyes. He stood aside to let Ben enter, giving a cutesy little salute to him as he crossed the threshold.

"Well, you're fashionably late!" Callum quipped as the door slammed shut, smiling brightly as he furrowed his eyebrow at a bashful Ben who jumped slightly at the raucous nature of the door's closing.

"You're so cute, you know that, right?" Callum's voice rose a few octaves. Almost in sync, Ben's heart beat faster and his stomach fluttered in clandestine retaliation.

"Stop it you, you'll get me all hot & bothered!" Ben said, rather coyly, simultaneously blushing, face like a bright red baby tomato as he playfully shoves Callum.

"Well, it's true..." Callum mumbled under his breath as he bit his lip seductively, hoping that Ben couldn't hear him as he turned to face away from Callum's longing & pining gaze...

Gallantly, Ben made his way to Callum's wholesome & homely kitchen, raiding the cupboards as he ranted on & on vigorously, gesticulating wildly with flailing arms about something mildly insignificant. He was ravenous.

Callum scoffed to himself as he watched Ben, picking at the skin of his thumb delicately before joining his petite companion.

Ben felt Callum's long & lanky arms grip his waist from behind, his smooth face buried in the crook of his neck, littering & lingering kisses, sucking at the skin there. Ben felt whole. He was finally someone's someone again. Their whole world. It was in this moment that he felt alive, like he truly found a purpose. To love and be loved, to belong. In Callum's warm embrace...

"Forget about the food, I've got something better in mind..." Callum whispered confidently as he winked at his counterpart, assured in himself as he also wiggled his eyebrows flirtatiously. He was always like this when it was just the two of them...

Ben & Callum chuckled knowingly in unison into each other's mouths as Callum scooped up Ben in his sturdy arms, thrusting him onto the soft sofa before jumping on top of him.

In a moment of pure ecstasy, Callum removed Ben's jacket furiously with an intense passion, discarding it aggressively to the other end of the room. Ben emulated but this time with Callum's jeans, tossing them aside manically.

The intensity of the kisses grew raunchy and lusty as tongues were sliding, hips colliding. Callum sitting up ever so slightly to allow Ben to straddle him, grinding his crotch into Ben. Subtly, Ben slowly reached a hand down to rub Callum through his boxers as he left trails of slippery, wet kisses down the taller man's neck, there lied a sultry love bite.

Just as Ben was to open his mouth to speak, the sound of a key entering a keyhole rung out, leaving an almost echo in it's wake...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told y'all it's about to get real messy...


	3. The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, y'all! It's a real tearjerker...

The Vic. Full of life. Voices bubbling & bustling away... Busy. Patrick and Ted are sat contently in one corner, adorned by obscene amounts of rum. Sheree on her husband's arm, chattering away about God knows what. An exasperated Linda moaning at Mick to check on Ollie whilst simultaneously dealing with some less than friendly customers. On the far end, Karen, rather poorly, is attempting a power ballad on the karaoke machine, heckled by a visibly intoxicated Mitch. Sat discreetly at the bar, Max & Ruby, arms round each other as Max whispers sweet nothings into his admirer's ear... And then there was Callum. Sat alone. Reminders of a painful argument with Whitney replaying in his mind. Weary-eyed, a lack of sleep, devoid of all emotions. He swirled his glass half full of amber-coloured liquid rather dejectedly, looking down as he did so, just as the Vic doors abruptly opened...

In entered Ben... But he wasn't alone. To his left side was a tall 30 something year old man, blonde & blue-eyed, dressed in a professional navy-blue suit. Arm in arm, giggling & laughing at something completely and utterly trivial. Ben swiftly caught wind of Callum's presence, inclining his head slightly to scowl at Callum, a face like thunder. He then proceeded to stare lovingly at his date, all twinkly-eyed and lovestruck, just as this enigma of a man led him by hand to a nearby booth seat. Once comfortably seated, all cosy and loved-up, Ben cruelly began a bid to unnerve and psych out Callum, as he bewitchingly ran his hand down from his date's rosy, flesh coloured cheek to his hard chest before swiftly grabbing his partner's neck and pulling him in for a slippery, wet tongue kiss. Callum was furious... An anger bubbling up inside of him, he has never felt so strongly before. Nonchalantly, he cocked his head to the side, a brewing envy boiling his insides as he whimpered quietly to himself, tears forming in his woeful eyes. As they separated to catch their breaths, Ben tantalizingly bit his finger in Callum's direction, his companion not privy to the unfinished business wafting in the air, then proceeds to whisper sweet nothings in his date's ear with a mischievous smile before excusing himself, heading in the direction of the loos, leaving Callum sat simply stunned & utterly heartbroken...

Ben, on the other side of the cold, hard door, leaning, rapidly hyperventilating before dramatically inhaling and rushing to grip the edges of the circular, white sink. With a slow raising of the head, he looked up at his disheveled reflection in the mirror that lay flat before him, battered and bruised internally, unable to escape the thoughts of Callum touching him and kissing him gently. Ever so briefly, he closed his eyes before momentarily releasing the tap of icy, freezing cold water to splash water on his burning face... As if by magic, the object of his affections, the apple of his eye appeared in the threshold, akin to himself all those nights ago at the Car Lot...

Ben does not even bother to turn to face his secret lover, a uncontrollable rage building up inside of him as Callum takes a few steps closer....

"I haven't got time for this!" snapped Ben brutally, clearly vocally agitated as he rolled his eyes. Callum took several steps back, leaning against the tiled wall. 

"Please, don't do this. You don't look too good. Here, let me-" whispered Callum sympathetically, extending a hand to Ben's shoulder.

"Don't... touch me!" screamed Ben hotheadedly as he forcefully shrugged off Callum, tears streaming down his already emotionally broken face.

"I hate this- us fighting... It's not doing anyone the world of good." Callum said tearfully, taking a fearful step forward to wipe away Ben's salty tears with his thumb.

Ben instantaneously removed Callum's hand, promptly grabbing him by the wrist and restoring the limb to Callum's side.

"I'm done, Cal. You don't get to toy with my feelings, toss me aside..." Ben said, voice breaking, looking down demurely at his feet as he did so.

Callum sighed as he scuffed his feet and scoffed, sliding down the tiled wall. Head in his hands. He looked up at Ben who was staring back at him with such an intensity, a fiery passion surging within.

"I don't understand you! One minute you text me saying you 'crave' me so badly, the next-' Callum vented, visibly hysterical. He hated seeing Ben like this... And he knew deep down that Ben felt the same way about him...

"Then why do you keep treating me like I'm just some... dirty little secret, a futile fling?!.." Ben stuttered painfully through gritted teeth as he reduced himself to Callum's height, joining him reverently, assuming the same position.

"You know how I feel about you, Ben! It was never meant to be like this..." Callum murmured softly as he cupped Ben's face with his big, clumsy hands.

"Do I really? Is that why you hid me away under your bed?" questioned Ben nastily, falling further into Callum's embrace.

"I never knew you felt so strongly about me... I'll end it with Whit- I'll tell her..." promised Callum, the flick switching in his eyes. Ben picked up on this desire, despite his pent up resentment towards Callum & Whitney consuming him.

"It just hurts, you know... I really, really like you- and seeing you with her... it honestly pains me... so much." Ben stuttered as he played with the ring on his finger.

"I know. I see it in your eyes... I hate putting you through this... you think it's easy for me knowing that I'm breaking your heart?" remarked Callum as he went to intertwine his fingers with Ben's.

"Then why do you keep inflicting this pain on me? What we have clearly doesn't mean anything to you... It's all Whit this, Whit that!" Ben gestured between the two of them, beginning to sob gently, baring all for Callum to see.

Ben's admission crushed Callum to the core. He simply couldn't wrap his head around the way he was making Ben feel. That twist of jealousy that he was feeling, the chipping away of Ben's precious heart...

"Why are you saying this? I love you... so much. You'd be crazy to throw all that away over Whitney. After all the pain, the grief, the loss we've been through together... surely this is enough? Callum muttered, voice tinged with unwavering emotion. He stared at Ben with a hopeful glint in his eye, voice breaking. 

"Yeah, well, sometimes love is just not enough... there's nothing you can do. We can't go back. If only..." Ben trailed off rather cruelly, a bitterness behind his voice as wiped his eyes with his coarse sleeve, getting up as he did so, heading towards the door.

"No. You don't mean it! Take it back, please Ben..." Callum pleaded, voice shaking, stuttering. 

"We're over. Finished. Don't call me, don't text me...you were just a bit of fun!" Ben bited back, a hint of finality in his voice as he stood prepared to leave.

Ben roughly pulled the handle, which made the door swing back with epic proportions, such gusto. He stopped to close his teary eyes, breathing in before looking back at Callum who couldn't see him and continued on to join his doting date who sat there still, patiently waiting for him.

Callum weeped silently to himself, internally screaming, a suppressed echo. Sat there, all by himself again. No one to turn to. Not even Ben...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can the connection between the star crossed lovers ever be salvaged?...
> 
> Inspired by BlueStarAngel's recent chapter! Go check it out NOW!!! One of the best fics on here, seriously recommend it :)

**Author's Note:**

> Comment below if y'all want another chapter added... ;) TBC


End file.
